Mood:  blue

to tell you the truth . i am always somewhat perplexed by these sorts of days . cold but only if you consider any form of central heating .. grey yes and bright perhaps that is it .. a grey day in late March .. i guess that it is this grey oppressive weather .. i feel that oddity of confused emotions .. and yes weather of any kind can be worrying .. used as i am to the indoors .. yes are days of sun and even brighter weather where friends come together and you recal loving and pleasant company .. and yet on the whole .. most weather in itself is awful .. if you are alone ..

i sit here  now feeling better for being able to describe this to you to myself .. my frame of mind my state of conciousness .. well one thing is for sure . Jane was there at the dance and i did not go .. i did not think .. and now what .. well Monday is all but gone .. and i have so much to do .. 

i woke early and was up quickly .. practicing my tai chi by  07.10AM great and yet somehow i mislaid the keys to work and fussed for  most of the day .. only discovering them after lunch .. i would like to say that the day was not quite ruined however my peace of mind was certainly aggitated somewhat .. anyhow here is the rest of the day recounted .. 

07.00AM woke ..

07.10AM tai chi .. till past 08.10AM ..

no keys panic .. everybody .. arrived at work by 08.45AM

and took things easy .. till 10.00AM and yoga .. this went well .. i don't know comfortable talked with Sylvia about her daughter nos 2 .. not Rachel but another who lives in Ivybridge of all places . i listened .. breast cancer .. that makes 2 now . Sylvia is upset .. and the rest well everyone seemed ok.. nice to see Fran and Jo .. talked with Jo afterwards .. about the dance on Saturday .. went well .. Jane was there . and now i wish that i had gone .. too 

i returned home and did some more searching .. nothing .. returned to peace of mind .. where i spent the time helping out moving shifting etc .. Jo was feeling out of sorts and i hope that my words helped her . in any way .. nice to be of service .. making coffee .. making tea .. well .. we sorted the office furniture  and we sorted the boxes .. no more cardboard clutter .. nice to meet Chris and i did finally manage some cognitive therapy .. exercises .. funny though .. i recalled that i had left the oven on .. potato cooked .. and ran home .. felt good though .. running felt easy .. natural even .. and i made it home for a smal lunch .. cooked to perfection .. although perfection ranks high on my problem area .. that and a few other things .. anyhow . after .. a discovery .. the keys .. and so i returned to peace of mind and  well picked up afew things and went swimming .. for a while .. yes it was nice to see .. Luke and Simon .. i wondered what stephany would look like nude .. yes quite wonderful .. and after 35 mins of swimming plus sauna i had had enough of the pool .. a stroke of luck .. Sarah . .. !!! and child .. and i made it my business to make a fuss over the tiny tots mum Sarah has the most beautiful eyes .. green perhaps .. and yet hazel . but not enough to be . fascinating .. how the light plays on them .. quite stunning .. and yes .. they had returned from Ealing .. Broadway.. well always a pleasure to see a friend .. and yes i mentioned the  article i had read in the Guardian well .. i hope that have heaped enough praise on the girl .. infront of her baby .. very important that .. reading Mars and Venus .. men and woman etc ..  and of course Sarah mentioned the swimming .. and knew that i also practiced tia chi and so i guess or imagine that i am an open book now .. Sarah was very kind saying that physical exercise is important .. and i found myself after a pause . agreeing .. funny how i had perhaps felt that i was doing too much in that sphere .. spoilt .. and yet always a good thing to have people support you in what you are trying to achieve ..

home and bass guitar till 05.30PM went well . read some more . nearly fiinished .. Excession  ... i did do some javascrpt study and yes i wonder at the usefulness of the exercise .. doubting again my ability . surely the RAF would have picked up on this a long time ago .. photos well i never .. seems too easy .. and yet everyone has one .. an art form that is so popular .. too popular  

and yes what now ..

tea . time and thanks

good luck good fortune .. waking up .. good overal health .. both mental and physical .. strong spirits .. work and being paid to good food breakfast lunch and dinner to work mates and to yoga  exercise and saunas to toys and email to sense and limb to the internet to learning and books to teachers Rose Andrew and everyone who is aiding me now in my recovery to therapy of sorts to a roof over my head to rent paid to good landlords to good neighours to being single sober and a non smoker to books to gardens to laughter tears and music to comedy to family to friends to shopping to sleep 

Posted by ecomill at 6:45 PM BST

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