Mood:  not sure

and today has seen the snow and the mood that goes with snow .. great ..

wake up around 10.00 am and the usual routine .. tai chi meditaition and general wake up..

lunch was simple ..and then onto the afternoon of drawiing. catching up with various techiniques

close to 03.00 off i went to swim . and after a mile or so and a sauna .. i was feeling good .. 

however after about 04.30 pm .. i began to wonder .i have began to feel very isolated . as if i have fallen into a pit .. so yes phoned a friend .. and talked and talked and talked ..and afterwards wondered why i did not do it sooner .. feeling more connected now thanks

thanks to waking  up ..and to good luck to good fortune to good food to good overal health both mental and physical to good spirits to sense lmbs etc to good neighbours to grand landlords to family to friends to toys to meditation to exercise to tv  to a roof over my head to all those who are aiding me in this time of trouble to teeth to hair to warmth on a cold night to laughter tears to comedy to music to hobbies to saunas to work to work mates to being paid to money in the bank 

and so with one phone call your day can change trasform into something worth writing about ..

discovering that a friend is having a hard time .. and being there as a buddy ..

so easily forgotten .. yet so easy to get back into .. as in meditation . it s still now .. you might have wandered off .. but it is still now

Posted by ecomill at 7:55 PM GMT

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what next .. a feeling of being subjected to jokes and humor .. that might as well have come from Phillydelphia .. lost in the post .. whilst being aimed at my other heart that resides in my arms

if i were to show you my mind it would be where they take the blood ..my arms  

Posted by ecomill at 10:42 PM GMT

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Mood:  mischievious

 today has been one of discovery ...taking photos .. what a joy .. digital lets you enjoy instant feedback .. and you find yourself inching forward little by little towards that perfect shot .. none of this kind of learning would have been possible in the days of 'film' then you took a photo and had to wait till development to see the result .. very different .. similar to the internet in many ways .. you find an online book  and can straightway find any bonus info at the touch of a button .. eg the history of rock .. with countless links to various bands .. however now all you have to do is search and the band in questiion can be playing in your headphones in seconds .. instant feedback .. very satisfactory 

this is the wonder of the digital age

late now must go ..

Posted by ecomill at 11:06 PM BST

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Mood:  blue

Found an interesting site about the henge .. a circular mystery .. and yet this hypothesis is fascinating . the henge was in fact a machine .. similar to our industrial revolutioin the bronze age 4500 yrs ago we saw the building of henges . small medium and large ..

each stone was a tooth similar to the teeth in any modern machine .. the first indstrial plant .. whose purpose was to build even bigger stones.. 

mn interesting nice video  

Posted by ecomill at 9:02 PM BST

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Mood:  a-ok

went running 8 miles and drew a picture .. worked and went swimming for 30 mins .. this morning i did an hour of tai chi a new 2nd part . to the form .. and the rest of the time . chatter .

And as a treat a film .. that was rather gritty .. humbling in that somehow our own imperial history was shown to me  

thanks to good luck to good fortune to good heallth mental and physical to good spirits to friends family to help with living to toys to  films to hobbies to work to work mates to people like Mark and to good neighbours to good landlords to meditation to teachers to Andrew Richard to Rose to college to email to internet to a roof over my head to good food to sense and limbs to being paid to the weekend to rest to phones to reiki to rent paid to poems to teeth to hair to all those who are seeing me through this testing time to laughter tears to comedy to music to  sleep to medicine to vitamins to meditation to peace of mind to Rose and to Clare to Stuart and to Such Project to Maggie to 

the safe keeping of all i know ..  

Posted by ecomill at 9:22 PM BST

Updated: Friday, 1 May 2009 9:24 PM BST

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Mood:  not sure

ok i feel somewhat bemused i feel ok and yet something is not quite as it should be . something in the background .. and yet i have had a day of it .. perhaps my life style needs a bit of a lift .. no guitar today and ever so quiet ..

now to the way i feel well .. yes on the whole no anxiety and very little to worry over and yet . perhaps i should be making hay whilst the sun shines so to speak . perhaps that is it i am being left behind .. and i have only just this minute twigged as to the benefits of being in love .. makes life worth living so to speak .. if you are in love everything you do has meaning.. only thing is that falling in love requires a certain amount of discernement .. you  have to fall for one rather than many to fall for one and no one else. rather than oggle all those others .. walking down the street surrounded by so many girls well marriage is a matter of a trade off .. and i am beyond seeing the attractions of just one singular female .and yet i guess love will take it's course . or not .. i suppose .

so to today waking after  a wonderful night 

Posted by ecomill at 6:05 PM GMT

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Mood:  bright

yes today has had me by the shorts .. and there were times when i was quite out of sorts . however there have been some successes. Notably the website is going well http://upinsomerset.tripod.com  now there is a site with promise and for once it went like a dream .. 20 mins and bingo .

i woke early at 07.00AM and was up tai chi etc a quick shop and out to work .somehow out of sorts i just wanted to get it done for once . and so  at 09.50AM i was out of there and home .. where i chose to meditate upon the issue for an hour or so . and after a sleep another 60 mins .. and after well lunch and a swim till 02.00 Pm or so and then webstuff and a trip to mind peace of mind around 03.00PM where i enjoyed the zoo atmosphere for a while . nice to see John and after well Bob is always good company .. and then the surprise a run .. from 04.00 till 05.20 great shakes .. and then chips and a movie bingo .. 

yes i read some more and delved into more cognitive therapy ..

tea was great chips and grapes .. now fro some thanks

to waking up good food tai chi and exercise to tv radio and good overal health to good spirits to good luck fortune landlords and neighbours to toys and the web books and help with living t laughter tears comedy and music to senseso and limbs to games to being sober a non smoker to being single to meditation to warmth on a cold night to family to vitamins and medicine to  all those who have aided me dr nurses etc etc peace of mind work and being paid today to phones and safekeeping rent paid 

and now good bye good bye whipe a tear baby dear from your eyeee . good byye  

Posted by ecomill at 7:24 PM GMT

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Mood:  hug me

i guess today is a special day. one of love and all things caring . and so to thanks that i hope will wash away any self pity that might be lurking in my consciousness .. and for that matter unconsciousness

thanks to waking up . to laughter to good luck to good fortune to tears and to comedy to music to work and workmates to toys to phones to walks with friends to travel to the weekend to swimming to saunas to running and to tai chi and yoga to learning to teachers like Rose And Andrew to the internet to email to my garden to a rof over my head to warmth on a cold night to tv to radio to vitamins to medicine to being sober single and a non smoker to good mental health good physical health grand spirits to the albemarle center to family and to mediation to breakfast lunch and dinner to shops to hobbies to good neighbours good landlords to money in the bank to good books to my blog and to senses and limbs to help with living rent paid to the mail to education to poems to chance meetings to showers and to people like Guy and Ben who remind me how much i have to learn ..

highs being meeting someone i find fascinating .. light hazel eyes . and a beautiful dress sense ..

lows this morning & not being myself .. even after all that i've done .

Posted by ecomill at 6:53 PM GMT

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Mood:  irritated

i woke early again . and considered this as an important day . well how wrong was i . after breakfast tai chi of course with chanting this time .. and then my heart was beating .. the cause . well ot a woman . no a telephone call .. well once the dept of works and pensions got what they wanted i was much happier .. under £10 a week .. brilliant .. and so i could get on with the day . meditation for 35 mins helped and as i still felt shellshocked well i considered the mens group to go to ..

i arrived and surprised myself .. with my composure .. and nous .. well the day started to perk up a bit and Kim and i went for a walk .. and when i looked at my watch well it was past 02.00PM great !

now the afternoon was easy once i got my head round study .. and so i spent a good amound of time on the subject of CSS and an image for my h2 tag well again i found things can get pretty strange when you start to get into the subject . and yes i also read a little .. more Excession from Banks himself . great ..

the study went well . at this rate i will be quite a wag in CSS circles . and yes all my h2 tagged lines of text had the most awful gif file attached .. in great swathes of red . stretching across the page .. however there was nothing wrong . only the image . once the color is matched and the right image chosen . ie one that represents something long and thin then there will be no problems .. my thoughts went back to an image of a chain .. now that would fit perfectly .. i believe

now after reading some and getting to the next chapter of the said book well it was past 03.30PM and time for swimming and sauna . great

and then it struck me .. yoga .. and so returning home after 25 mins of swimming i made it home and more ta chi 30 mins ..

whilst yoga started at 06.00PM this went well and i had a very interesting chat with Rose .. the rest of the evening was spent on my computer where i fixed that silly ublue prog once and for all . easy .. !!

it's now 09.20PM and time for thanks

to waking up good luck good fortune good negihbours great mental health great physical health to great spirits to yoga and tai chi to swimming to saunas to learning CSS html etc and to the internet to friends and family to phones toys to email to nintendo DS to laughter tears to music comedy to a roof over my head to help with living to rent paid to being single sober a non smoker to fellow yogis yoginis to senses limbs to teeth hair to the albemarle center to vitamins medicine to people like Amanda Dixon to Rhoda to teachers Andrew Rose and Jane June and Kay and Pauline to Kim and Nick and Andrew to st valentines day to the internet and to gardens to breakfast lunch and dinner to hobbies to online learning to tv to radio to shops to books and to education to drs and nurses to all those who have helped me

and now time to go .. 09.30PM sleep at 10.00PM

Posted by ecomill at 9:28 PM GMT

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Mood:  suave

this day is best described on a time continuum ..

i woke early and yet later than i would have liked and considered the day .. yes i needed to eat and to get ready . and so tai chi was important .. together with meditation i considered myself ready for the fray . and i believe by 11.30AM i was there at the peace of mind mens group where they were doing manly things . yes there was a game of monopoly . can you dig it yes you can . and there was i considering my own finances . well well the irony of it .. yes i managed to take a seat and as one left another one entered .. and i was doing well .. largely the last few days have seen a difference in me . i have learned to let go .. taking my teacher's advice . take it or leave it .. it's not worth dying for .. and so I fought my natural instincts to win and aget all excited and yet there i was winning and you know what i couldn't give a damn .. these guys were more important to me than that .. Nick the youngest was of course more brazen and yet you can forgive that in a young man student .. and Andrew and Kim well i wasn't here to play games i was here to talk about stuff .to find out about these people . and as lost interest . i felt it wise to give the victory laurels to Nick who needed it more i imagine ..  and so we talked about being made a bankrupt and the pain of being a debtor . money matters were on the cards and whilst we were at it why not talk about our favourite places .. in London or indeed the world .. all this i found incredibly painful .. i recalled angel islington and my party days . and places like Paris and Italy well .. gd knows how i got out of that alive .. and yes i had gone through all that with a psychotherapist .. the journey around the continent . the rags etc . and yet these things are in the past gone ..

and so having given Nick the victory i found my own victory .. grasped from the jaws of defeat.. i got out my camera and started to take pictures .. of the guys . with a few props . cups and victory pieces .. shields etc and so i have began my photo journal of what it is to be involved in the peace of mind center .. a place or retreat .. and well this seemed more important than winning the game ..and it is something that i have been working on .. a win win situation .. for all concerned .. and for the record if i was anything like a busness man i know 2 things .. make sure that you create friends rather than enemies and 2 that i took over in a similar vein as Obama . the situation was not a healthy one .. and i made it prosper .. and so on the whole a good morning and a good lunch time ..

i left at 1.30pm and made it home in good time for lunch and more tai chi 30 mins and a real corker ..talked with AManda Dixon .. and felt better ..  I met mum at the brewhouse and we talked till past 04.00PM and i made my voice known .. i listened and i talked and we went away with promises to meet again next wednesday . again i felt good . and yet .. well i considered things and went swimming and had a sauna .. i was not by this time feeling great .. however a mere blip .. and thankfuly went for a yoga session that has left me feeliing good .. calm and relaxed . having eaten and all well .. time has flown by .

thanks to waking up this morning .. breakfast and tai chi yoga and swiimming . to good luck to good fortune to good landlords good neighbours to teachers like Rose to meditation to Andrew and to Jill to the albemarle center to tv to radio to the internet to a good book to the brewhouse to the peace of mind center to people llike Kim and Andrew to good mental health good physical health to grand spirits to sense and limbs to laughter tears and comedy to music to toys to phones to family to talk to hobbies to vitamins and medicine to sleep to teachers to shops to

Posted by ecomill at 9:16 PM GMT

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