what a relief .. back to normal .. time to view the world with fresh eyes
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: silence that leaves me feeling hopeful
Topic: big world dreams

the word on my lips today is China and learning about the world .. how we or I am the same .. i saw people distraught .. i saw others calm in the light of their sefl belief .. and today a man told me of how he brings his child up .. no different to a man on the other side of world and maybe even more importantly .. on the other side of the idealogical divide .. both telling their children that food is never wasted . not one bit .. because .? the effort that went into it ..

i watched how people like me were involved in disaster .. losing family ..mothers brothers sisiters .. uncles .all through the corruption of some or the fickle hand of fate ..  these are human beings ..and so cannot be demonized or scape goated .. not if you see them as yourself .. and so i felt for them and asked what would i do .

now to my day ..

I woke with the fact in my heart that life was back to mormal .. a working day .. and so entered into my routine .. tai chi meditation  mindfulness ..all this after shopping and breakfast ..

so by around 11.30 am i was ready for work .. and this went well .. the office was no problem ..and i chose to see that there was a place for me in the new decade . 

i lookied at the news .. 30 yrs ago . And a crisis .. thatcherism .. monetary policies ..etc and so recalled my own views . . and considered the future .. 

after work home and a swim sauna . where i managed my mile or so and enjoyed the company of both Laura Russell . Briidget ..etc .. good to be back . nice to listen or more pointedly my listening skills ..  

 now after my swim 02.00pm i set off for a walk/photo shoot ..and came back with a aston martin .. mnn and then decided to have a haircut .. this took up the afternoon ..and once done more shopping to finish ..

 the late afternoon was spent reading the paper .. China .. etc and viewing blogs concerning China .. where they touched upon a strange thing .. the views of a man who had in his life taught a billion people to read and write ..and how he was treated .. being also an economist . it seemed China also had it's economic problems .and being an American economist was a surefire way to the paddy field .. re education ..all taken in his stride .. and in a few years back to his home .. none the worse .. 

now it is dark and i feel the pull of the yoga in me .. yet my day has been a good one ..only one thing to do .. make the leap .. to learn that html .. or at least to register ..

thanks to

waking up to good luck to good fortune to work to work mates to being paid to  learning to teachers to a roof over my head to good neighbours to medicine to all those who are aiding me in this troubled time to friends to exercise to laughter music to comedy to tears to good landlords to help with living to family to toys to the internet to newspapers to phones to sense and limbs to meditation to mindfulness to hobbies to good food to 

and to money in the bank to sleep to being alive to good overal health to great mental health to wonderful physical health to grand spirits to teeth and hair to books 

flying once more
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: a run can make all the difference
Topic: big world dreams

it is true that we have only moments to live .. today i lived for a moment .. yes the films leave me feeling like a hero that i once was . finding out that i could excel at something disocvering that one's last thought before dying is the same as everyone elses ..  grasping that reaching out beyond one's fears and abilities leaves you with a warmth inside that keeps you going ..

and so here is the day

at this moment i would love to write that james joyce style . thousands of pages all concerned with one day .and yet to me capture for me is a mix of movement and conscious effort ..

for me waking was a happy event .. 10.00am and i felt that i was rested .. considering the next move i lay in warm sheets.. considering  that food would be the only thing to get me going .. it used to be cigarettes .. now it is shopping and eating .. 

I got up looking at the clock and  wondering why i had somehow slept through the morning .. 

walking to the store is a process of change .. from insular to a dim realization that the world is populated by other human beings that somehow i feel duty bound to relate to . there are simply men and women male and female . old and young ..strong and weak .. rich and those that seem to revolt . i see the families that somehow move slug like .. head and tail .. old and young .. noisy ..and the horror of horror that man you might know if you had been having one of your moments .. there are always those moments when you believe that you recgnize a face or a stoop .. a familiar head or back ... and then it turns out to be a stranger .. and yet at moments like so .. i consider them to be so 

with a small commnent .. like

well it might as well be Danial .. or it might as well be her .. same thing really ..  a person is a person is a person .. no matter how you see it ..

and so after making it to the shopping entrance without mishap .. emotionaly head held high thinking that if i have high aspirations or high ideal or high thoughts then i might be OK . i enter the warmth of the place .. bright and filled with ladies faces . looking slightly bewildered .. as if trying to remmenber something important . that look of fear almost .. that if they somehow fail to recall everything that is needed ..all manner of horrors may occur .. they shop as if at gun point .. 

i know that my needs are simple .. enough fiber to get me going ..so i am happy .. saving it for the day ..

once i have walked the aisles and maybe said a few hellos then i feel that i am in my skin .. paying is always a joy .. talk flows at this time of the day .. and i guess that i am comforted by the knowledge that i can always leave .. this is my metaphor .. for life in general  .. that i can leave it if i want .. and so with a brief look at the papers ..reading the headlines is about at close as i get to important status .. i take the store with my eyes ..out the exit and into the queues waiting for hell to freeze over .. people tend to hang around entrances .. standing in small rings .. hands in pockets looking like they have thinigs to hide . that only only they know .. i think that it gives them a sense of freedom .. a senseof sefl .. or perhaps i am wrong and that is their selves fro all to see 

i walk on .. looking at the number plates .. force of haibt .. have done it ever since boyhood ... oh there's a new one .. 09 or i like that one N reg ..a good year that .. oh that hubcap got a great look .. and that one ... ! a star .. a five pointed star .. how naughty .. five pointed stars .. all that hollywood stuff .. oh and that one ..almost the same but well after a while five points . seven points .. snow shaped .. roundedor sharp .. they are just tires .. although i used to look at the brand or as i still like to call them makes .. my favourite being pirelli .. great big wide tires .. that say that whatever the car it needs a lot of tread ... to grip . and yes it was always and still is . two numbers .. one big one small .. important stuff .. 

and now as i ponder .. i pass on my right hiding or hidden .. a group of smokers .. ready rub ..sucking .. on juicy tobbaco .. freezing cold .. my pace quickens ..and i wonder if their conversation is as mad as when i smoked . years now .. but one always recalls if one wants ..

onwards home .. passing the office where i believe they deal with accounts .. a quick look to see if Ritta is in .. at her desk . once more i ponder that she will be there all day .. long  we share a common bond .. both are single desperate and enoy yoga once a week . thurdays . Ritta somehow manages to warn the other women that attend yoga class that i live not tweny feet from where she works .. and i guess that means that i am a person not to be mixed with .. the irony however is rather funny . if one thinks about it deeply .. however i am grateful for her concern ... i feel happy concerning my work and where i live .. not twenty feet from Ritta .. sounds like a Beatles song or at least a lyric .. something from their later years .. perhaps .. makes us something to behold i guess ..

her boss i do not know .. however i do know that he stays late .. playing cards with his computer ..the green baize screen can be seen quite easily from the street .. infact the whole office is glazed over and thus creates a goldfish bowl affect .. business seems to be going well .. although .. as with any business that involves professionals such as accountants .. all is not as it seems .. 

to be continued

and so once i had go home and eaten . tai chi and meditated twice .. once with krishna murti and mindfulness with some other the morning was done and lunch was due oh and a little dream journal 

to be honest it must have been past 01.00 by the time i ate and then somehow a chance to see the rest of the film .. and this whilst boosting my spirits i was ready to go swim .. 

a shock that i had only 20 mins to so so . let me have a few minutes with Ahmud and Alan ..

great .. and then home and the real thing  a run out of sheer mmmn .. a run in the rain a run in the cold and whilst i was running , a meditation upon dying . and all the things i never got to do .. parachuting to earth .. marriage .. a marathon .. most of the first 15 mins was physical then it got to be more pensive .. what if i was dying .. what would happen . i have seen it before and know a little what of me .. a hospice .or perhaps someplace else .. why no book .. no song .. no love no gifts to others .. no acting .. no degree .. no photograpy .. no art no performance .. no a hundred things .. no dance no great symphony .. and then once i had collected my thoughts . all earthy stuff gone .. only the water .. what of that stuff .. emotions . why no love no hate no anger no emotions to expression .. to expressiion ..and then heat .. that kept me going .. i found that as i ran there moments of fear .. what if this was my last breath .. what if i had burned out ..and all i had now was air .. and then spirit intervened .. breath and spirt .. breathing .. evenly then love final desires .. choices that i hoped would change or at least tempor my day . thoughts of jane .. then onwards seeing the futility of simple deisre then reality .. more like the last breath of a dying man .. what would be my last breathing thought .. Mum .. and then again .. a last thought .. Hannah .. of all people .. my unconscious working overtime .. why hannah .. well i was passing so i guess my mind likes to make short cuts .. if i had been somewhere else it might have been someone else .. 

home and something to eat .. and then writing  

 

thanks to waking up good food good luck to good fortune to great spirits to good overal health to good mental and good physical health to good neighbours to good landlords to hobbies to work to mates to meditation to exercise to sense limbs and laughter comedy to music to tears to films to saunas to being paid to tv to toys to family to teachers to help with living to warmth to good weather to medicine to fellow students  

dream journal
Topic: big world dreams

the first dream was set in a concrete underground toilet cum spar shop .. at one end was Queens and the other a nondescript opening to a suburban area in some kind of new town perhaps ..  i recal going to he toilet and then finding this other exit/entrance .. and at this other entrance i found two policemen  and somehow being my rather mischievous self i planned upon making these two men look foolish

i retuned to the underground bunker type complex and made sure that handcuffs were attached to each man .. leaving them bound together ..

part 2 

a man big and strong . started shouting and crying out .. i asked him what the matter was and he repied that Andy Tanner was no longer speaking to him ..

I saw Andy shopping and being unaware of this rather sily situation 

Andy Tanner . handcuffs . Queens into the arms of the police .. nowhere .. .. making fun of the police . the house party It's not my house party 

the second dream .. being

Jane and i were talking when the subject of cross dressing came up ..  men too women and vice versa .. film hopscotch ,,. comedy 

i walked into a unisex hairdresser and  with Anthony brother i felt that he too had a feminine apsect 

i looked at the large tins of marmarlade .. the great ascape .. tins to make pipes breathing .etc

 then i saw them two young women one of which was i was told a taurus .. i made sure that i was sitting nex to her and then i was shocked to hear speak .. irish accent .. questioning everything .. about me .. and at the same time un interested .. 

toe in the water .. today .. online photographic agencies .
Mood:  special
Now Playing: simple city sounds
Topic: big world dreams

today has been ok .. yes and no .. well i guess that i managed to go take a few photos .. and yes i applied to an online agency in order to sell some of my photos .. the devil is in the detail .. i learned today that there are such things as .. wait for it .. model & property documents .. these basically have to be signed upon release of said photos .. so if i want to sell a photo of a friend then he has to sign a document saying that it is OK .. so too with property .. apart from that not too difficult .  i hope ..although getting permision might be easy or darn right impossible .. depending upon who or what i've photographed .. 

however if this is my thing then i have to u nderstand that the world is a careful place ...  yes i have a fantastic image .. no make that quite a few great images .. and getting them released could be a job in itself ..

 anyhow .. that is the boring bit ..now to the rest of the day 

i woke early for a holdiay .. and yes more shopping more breakfast and some tai chi of course..  now upon arriving at 11.30 AM i chose to have a snooze .. till lunch and after i was determined to phone around and get some action done .. photogrpahy .. so ringing around i found a buddy Kim and we went into town to do our thing .. yes i did manage to get some more tai chi done 30 mins indeed . 

i found a wonderful shot of a piece of irion work .. that i simply had not noticed until today .. and i also managed to learn one other important thing .. photography involves taking quite a number of photos .. an itchy trigger finger is no bad thing ..

i was done by around 03.00 PM and went home to change .. swmming  seemed to be the answer ..

and so 45 mins later i was done .. nice to see another few familiar faces .. one in particular .. a Scotsman who seems to only appear at Bank Holidays .. strange .. however the sauna was a relief ..

out by 05.00 ish and at work till 06.00 PM .. home and something to eat .. plus a concerted attempt at selling my photos .. via the net .. mnn 

 checking emails and that is about it 

i would like to imagine that i have had a grand day .. and yet i feel low .. yoga .. is a great way to deal with this .. especially the back bends .. the camel and the upward facing bow .. .. well we shall see .. nothing worthwhile is ever easy .. so we shall see .. 

photography is a great hobby ..and if your're good even better ..  the detail is perhaps not too bad ..

the image i have in mind is a winner .. a real treat . so with all this release stuff ..  i have at least learned that if an image is to be sold then it has to be done right ..

the drinkers are singing now .. i gather that iit is the black horse inn .. great place or it could be the coal orchard .. well well .. bank holiday monday .. evening and still the beer is flowing .. and spirits are high .. i sit here and ponder .. Micheal Palin once remarked that as he prepared for yet another part of his journey across the Sahara .. he seemed to be surrounded by people having a much better time than him .. anyhow .. this has been my day .. 

Thanks .

 haiwaking up . shops god luck good fortune .. good overal health laughter tears .. hobbies family work money in the bank .. work mates to medicine .. toys and phones friends email to good food  to music to comedy to sleep to swimming to sauna steam to gardens to good neighbours to good landlords to teeth and hair to good weather to sense limbs etc to teachers and to fellow students to money in the bank to being paid . 

and now to yoga and meditation tai chi and to rest over the bank holiday .. to all those who use Peace of Mind ..and to my own good  spirits ..

a distinctly up beat day..
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: does it get better ?
Topic: big world dreams

It is quite amazing how the world appears to b e one big feeding frenzie .. people do .. and then these actions are recorded .. if the press does not find the time then the individual does so on his own terms .. writers possibly .. or nowadays bloggers .. writing because .. they can .. in a medium that is perfet in these days of mass entertainment and equally mass individualism

what i love about the internet is the wonderful notion of possiblity . . i always said that i would love to write .. and that i would write about my friends .. that was almost 25 yrs ago . and to be honest . if i wrote about my friends and what we did.. well at least from my persective it is happening today .. your sons and daughters .. seemingly out of control & loving every minute of it .. the smart ones with their heads screwed on .. that little asprin at weekends .. high spirits .. nothing more ..  and i guess that is the end of it .. holidays come and go .. hard word hard play ..

and yes they even mention this wonderful time in poetry .. buddhist poems .. quiet hearts are not what the world requires of intelligent young minds .. 

and so here s my day . dreadful ..

woke early and straight to tai chi for some time 60 mins or so .. oh yes this time i was determined to start early .. and so after a quick once round the shops i was at work before 08.30 AM and yes all done .. quick quick .. nice to see the beautiful Bethan .. who spent the weekend at a country house .a family affair . and so on to a yoga lesson .. a chance to catch up on breakfast .. 

onwards and somehow the rest of the morning was spent fiddling with my camera getting to grips with all those parameters .. very cool . and then something that has been brewing for a while .. i went to sleep .. woke at 03.20 PM . exhaustion .. well perhaps we shall see . 

and so .. more swimming and sauna .. good to meet a few fellow swimmers . and then after a brief shop .. home and now .. 

yes the papers are filled with much more interesting events ..and yet those are not mine .. or for that matter a vast array of other people living .. like me ..  lives of quiet desparation ..

thanks to

waking up . good fortune good luck to good overal health . good neighbours good landlords work and work mates good pay to help with living medicine vitamins to the rent paid to sense and limbs to laughter tears comedy and music to hobbies to family to being sober .. to all those who are helping me through these days .. to toys to phones to being single.. to sleep .. to teachers and to college .. 

 

a day to begin things
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: happy hour .
Topic: big world dreams

woke and tai chi for an hour or so . work and singing . not too bad .. and then yoga . where i learned that even the most dire days have their good times and so this was one of them . after work . around 01.00PM or there abouts . was a chat with Mark . interesting bloke . and after lunch etc . well swimming . from 02.00 PM till past 03.30PM and there it was . two peeps and one a circus performer and the other a trampoline instructer . what a combination . and i made it my business to comment . upon the luck of their coming together . mnn !!

and so after shopping . and the view of the river at it's height . and return home around 04.45PM i sank down into a good book . and so by 05.40PM i was ready for something to eat . salmon and potatos . lovely thoughts turned to soup and spuds . soups and jackets .

simply put today has passed . quickly .

thanks to friends and family to waking up to tai chi to qi qong to work to breakfast to yoga to workmates to help with living help with rent . and to lunch and swimming to yoga to teachers to Rose and Andrew to Jill to biodanza to toys to phones to tv to radio to laughter games hobbies to comedy to tears to music to the internet . to books to freetime to my garden to vitamins to medicine to being sober single to being a non smoker to teatime to dinner to good luck to good fortune to senses and limbs to art to the brewhouse to being paid to great mental health to great physical health to great spirits .

and so i listen to the radio and the story of a soldier who though mortally wounded demanded to be taken back into the field. mnn vivre..

so here is to the day and the three big things that caused me to pause

two people so suited to each other that God could not have planned it better

meeting up with Sarah and her dad . always a joy

a new yoga student . nice looking too..  broken wrist nasty . kept up the sympathy though ...  wise

and to now how am i ? well not all bad as long as i am on my own . however i know that the phone is my best . friend ..

and somehow i have read for England ! down and out in Paris and London .

time to split

another day .. average . well maybe not !!
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: elvis costello
Topic: big world dreams

ok here is something new . well one thing that i am sure of . no more wasting time with people who make my life any harder than it already is . good bye all those who are painful to be with . and hello true friends .the ones that last years and make life a joy . . and yes more rest .. 2 hours . of meditation . rest . sleep ..  reflection . .. more photography and writing . with perhaps film making.. no children . and love going to the perfect girl . more tai chi swimming running Qi Qong . yoga . and biodanza . plus walks in sunny weather .. money going to my savings account . no tv . more radio more comedy . lots of comedy . and keeping my brain alive . sudoku .

now what have i done today and what have i considered . . no more wasting time with stuff that pays no dividends . yes tai chi this morning  90mins and well trying something new to quash the anxiety . frankincense . and bergomot.. mnn yes sudoku and i suppose i must report that i completed the hard one today . easier than i imagined . . lunch and the afternoon . spent walking in the sunshine . and this reminds me to check the photos . returned and more tai chi 45 mins .. feeling ok . i am now resting more .. thanks to

family Anthony and Mum . to great mental health great physical health good senses good limbs to comedy to laughter to tears when they come to radio . and music to phones and toys to internet to teachers Rose Andrew Jill . to tai chi waking up and breakfast lunch tea etc to brainbashing to gardening to good luck to emails to great fortune to sobriety to non smoker to being  single to the perfect girl . to beige . to good neighbours to great landlords to running to Ted to rest to hobbies to help with living to rent paid to shops to showers to saunas .

and the day is getting longer . no longer to be viewed . to the most sensitive man in the world .. funny how everwhere now appears to be jsut like Springfield . the clouds are the giveaway . and the blue . the kind you see in the movies .. blue weddings ..blue tuxedos . and to my relief . nothing to look forward to..

funny why no calls . i feel that i now know so many broken spirits .. so many people that cannot see the cage doors are wide open . and the bars that are all broken . when will i learn to keep my love to myself . i have so much pity for people i do not know and no tears for my own stealthiness of spirit

words like these ease my own fears of nothing , familiar . everythng  in particular wakes my own wandering fingers to step upon all those stepping stones that are like weapons . in the depths of my mischief . i am alone

question can a man be happy ? with a gadget or two ! perhaps and fated thus .. when woman chooses her own can he survive her ..

 

after biodanza
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: potato and salmon
Topic: big world dreams
i feel and believe that tonight attending my second biodanza meet was fun and a triffle absurd . absurd in a very tender loving way . seeing how we danced and moved . and you know . we are all have so much to learn . about the madness of being alive . i believed that i knew a few steps . and yet was consistantly moving like the proverbial mouse in a trap or is that wheel . some of us just went round and round and others . blank !! now the sweat makes equals of us all . dancing and somehow relating on a different level . well the girls seem to have it all their own way . and yet i am the lucky one .. for what would it be if the tables were turned . i need to get in touch with something someone and this is great for addressing fears and i have plenty of those . nothing however was more frghteful than after the show was over . and we were reminded of the reality of now . David i thank you.. and the Albemarle Center will always be a fact of life . my life . and all that jazz . coming home . the place smells differently . like rotten eggs . and yet my place is as it was peppermint . or something . one thing i have noticed is how aware i am . other people exist for me . on a sort of wonder what that person is like sort of thing ... the sort of reality that i would have thought alien in many ways . a few hours ago . one note before tea . supper . and that is how South American this is . the rythmn the salsa the catholic thing the dance the hot rootedness . and how quickly i wanted to leave . no reason . and how this is going to change my desperate nature . .. into something a little cooler . cos sometimes what you think is right turns out to be the not so hot kind of thing . beauty sometimes is more than you first percieve . and the woman you thought you rather liked . now becomes the girl you would put a bit further along that list of possibles. ah well biodanza . oh yes and i danced with a fella . no sweat . and now to supper . salmon and potato . salsa style .

a sunday without the worship
Mood:  special
Now Playing: purpose .
Topic: big world dreams

ok so today has been a bit of a damp squib . yes i woke late 09.30AM and yes i entered my life of a koan . tai chi and yoga . shopping and breakfast . and yes i was not so sure that this getting up late business is all it's cracked up to be .. mnnn !! ok so i have put a lot of effort into my wonderful life . .. mnn !! and so .the morning went just like that .. and yes the afternoon started with an idea.. more shopping . for tomorrow . bank holiday . and so i went for a walk . and decided to venture out to Tescos . taking my camera . and finding a nice Mercedes AMG . great !! now to be honest all is not well . just got to remind myself that all i have to worry about is being too sensitive . have visited Kevin great to watch the scary Eastenders . mnn .. a bit like listening to an episode of heavy breathing . with the words of a friend in my ears .. if i can watch this i might be ok . not to be scared .

and so after finding the problematic baddie who seems to speak like a psychopath and yet funnily enough dosen't swear . just talks very deeply and huskily . like a girl i used to know. or more to the point a woman from carry on . screaming . mnn !! and so seeing how this trick of acting got everybody's attention i made my exit . imagine everyone eyes glued to the telly . yes being new to this form of torture i made my way home and decided to shop . again. and yes bank holiday monday is like any other day . according to Morrisons . typical  ..

and so once i had got myself together i spent 60 mins standing like a stake .. and if that was not enough 30 mins sitting in zen the journey to queens again . '  bridge over troubled water . '

and so it is late afternoon . and high time for something to eat .

i guess that i am feeling a tad uncomfortable . in myself .. as if all my confidence has been sucked out of me . a cold feeling that leaves me shivering slightly . yes the vitamins may be a good idea . and yes this is a holiday and yet . there is no one here or there .to talk with alone ..

have just talked to Brian and there might be a way of sorting out his broadband connection . wireless like . ah hope springs eternal . a  great excuse to phone Anthony .. and see how he is getting on . not sure of how to find mum . whether to ring tongiht after 11.00PM or now funny how things perk up when you ring around .. will talk with Bob to sort out the website business .

and so the day begins to fall into shadow and England starts to sound the bells. the churchs are ringing and the town is quiet .

thanks to family and friends . to good health both mental and physical . to senses and limbs eyes and ears to smell and touch to taste to arms and legs . to good luck to good fortune to shops to waking up this morning to breakfast to lunch to tea to tv to radio to tai chi yoga to swimming to saunas to steam to help with the rent etc good landlords to good neighours . to work to peace of mind to books to email to teachers to Andrew to Rose to buddha to toys to phones to laughter to tears to comedy to music to slience to being sober celibate and a non smoker . to vitamins to medicine to art to the brewhouse to hobbies to electricity to british telecom to teeth and hair . to doctors nurses and psychiatrists . to the such project to Rose to Maggie

i wish i could say more . however there is one thing i would like to say . i am in my own way dropping my load . day by day . no god no  reiki to this or that . fewer friends fewer enemies . less give .

and so the week has ended .upon a note of realism . you might give to others until you are blue in face . however expect only mute thanks . from those who have come to  expect this . as a right rather than a gift .. however to give is good PR . Public Relations . and leave it at that .

the music appears to be of a more subtle texture tonight . early sunday evening . make way for the connaisseur . in all things strange ..

 

a treat .. and you know what it's not all that
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: gardening . radio 4 style
Topic: big world dreams

i don't know .. woke at 07.00 AM ish and straight into tai chi . and yes meditation and yoga etc . great ! ready for the walk at 09.30AM . mn! now this could be named as a highlight of the week . however till about 11.30AM things were painful .. too painful for words . sodden treading upon feet that miss Gomora . and so after a pleasant coffee break things were looking up and i was already home . now a swim was on the cards or at least a steam . enjoyable and yet i missed the usual sauna . and left the pool at around 02.00PM and again went shopping for lunch . and having eaten settled down for an hour or so of puzzles . . and a surprise . 03.50PM and a film back to the future . that enabled me to practice more yoga . the cobbler pose or asana .. till wait for it 06.00PM great . and i had my tea . prawns and potato . so nothing special there then . !! yes films are an interesting animal 17 yrs old and love on the cards . that is about it . however .

thankyou . to family . mum etc friends .. Bob etc and good mental health good physical health . senses eyes and ears . smell touch and taste . limbs arms and legs . to waking up this morning . to breakfast . to vitamins to medicine to toys to walks out . to  people like Tim to yoga to tai chi to swimming to saunas to steam to lunch to books to teachers to Andrew to Rose to the good book to meditation to radio to laughter to tears to comedy to music to tv to DVDs to CDs to good neighbors to good landlords to shops to jokes to art to the brewhouse to tea time to hobbies to bass guitars to photography to heaters on a cold evening to being celibate to being a non smoker to being a sober person . to help with living to help with rent to docs and nurses . to phones to good fortune to good luck to showers

 

ah well have completed the evening's routine and after a gruelling 2 hours i feel like crap . headache.. and  weak . it's a pain and it's been going on now for years . ah well . the grand design cum experiment continues onward !!! and  now to bed