Mood:  quizzical

i guess that i am feeling my way forward .. slow ahead engines .. as they say .. upon the idea or project things are going steadily well .. i have bagged me some great webspace whilst keeping my address  however we shal see about that .. courts stil out on that one .. methinks ..and today i got to grips with webstuff once again .. i seem to forget as easily as i remember .. just not skicking and yet i know that once ii get going I'll be alright and if things get sticky well all ahead slow .. stop engines ..

now today has me stumped .. its Friday big deal . finished work more to look forward tomorrow .. and the same on Sunday .. Krishnamurti was right .. all this for no profit .. whatsoever

 so i guess i might as well get on with it . 

today i did wake up with war on my brain .. thoughts of Russell on my mind

and so from 06.00 i was awake & by 07.20 i was up doing some tai chi till 08.20 or so

work was fun lasting till 10.00 am and so i returned home and spent some tme listening to space hacks till 11.15 and then falling asleep till lunch time 12.30 or so ..

once lunch was done .. can of fish .. i went swimming .. till mid afternoon .. hoping that it might clear my head

01.15 till mid afternoon as usual .. sauna was fun too

 the mid afternoon saw me attempt HTML again and finally getting it right around 04.00 pm 

more tai chi and preparation for tea .. shopping and some such

home and after i had gotten over the shock of the weather ..a meditation till 06.00 pm

and after something to eat . twitter blogs and email

yes yes i have just seen the funny side .. the 13th today .. oh ah

now to this project a photographic fanzine blog etc ..You were in photograph .. well what can i say .. the space is found the name is not but ecomill will do ok for now and i am getting to grips with a banner .. interesting .. stuff so far 

what kind of photos .. any news .. celebs etc etc learn th code .. add the content and bingo .. hot dog ..plenty of photos out there ..mnn  content written stuff ? a bit of bling 

 so far a few days of trawling the net for photos and yes impressed very impressed so far .. 

now to a thing that Andrew mentioned today Iraq/Afghanistan  and art .. a soldier paints the scene of what is going on .. very weird moment when he mumbled what could be a prayer well blow me

now i suppose that leaves me with my blog ..and a thanks

waking up good luck to good fortune to good spirits to good overal health to family to meditation to good food to a place to live to good neighbours to good landlord to medicine to shops to work to work mates to all those aiding me in this testing time to laughter tears to music to comedy to toys to teachers to sense and limbs to hobbies to phones to being paid to meditation to exercise to saunas to friends to books to art to the intenet to new contacts to radio film to help with living to sleep to teeth tooth paste to clients to Mind to peace of mind to 

Posted by ecomill at 6:44 PM GMT

Updated: Friday, 13 November 2009 7:01 PM GMT

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Mood:  special

the silence tonight is palpable .. no one stirs .. the trafic is distant .. the weather mysterioius .. a fog has descended and now is lifting gently .. the news is full of horror .. and my heart pines a little for company . not love as such but some connection ..

I shall go through the day in all it's simplicity .. from waking to now .. i guess that this being a day off meant the fact that i was lost for  things to do .. and yet when i decided upon biting the bullet i came away feeling used and at best in recognition of my mental and spriitual suffering . 

once i had decided upon a coarse of action i again find myself immersed in a torrent of flotsam and  jetsom .. good photographic websites are it seems 2 a penny .. however this is my lot in life .. to be immersed in the wonders of the average .. 

 perhaps making myself heard might help getting involved that is the key .. there being little shortage of photographers and yet rather fewer critics .. i suppose .. 

and to now .. a begiinnng

i woke late once more .. and upon getting up .. i chose my morning call .. an hour of tai chi and shopping for and consuming breakfast

this took me to mid morning .. i forget the details of the rest of the morning .. I cleaned and contacted work .. promsing to be there at 01.00 pm or so and after meditation etc .. lunch etc i spent time sorting out the kitchen and talking with Louise .. calming her .. and generally being nice to everyone including myself .. meditating upon neither rejecting my suffering nor accepting it .. 

this i did for an hour or so and was done by past .. 02.00pm .. upon arrivng home i needed a swim and sauna .. picked up some chocolate that i had bought for halloween and headed for the pool 

swimming and sauna was again another opportunity to meditate again upon this thing that i know as suffering .. neither accepting or rejecting but being with it .. like a dog who does not belong to me but is at my side constantly .. poems seem to abound wherever pain abides

i finished my sauna and left around 04.20 pm or so .. and again went shopping for something to eat for tonight  .. mushroooms and a fish medley potato carrot .. well it tasted great .. 

and the time now i spent in running over some old homework .. html etc in order to go ahead with my proposal .. and that reminds me of what took up so much of my tiime this morning .. hunting for a webspace provider .. signing up and reading through the small print ..

today there is so much to choose from .

and now once the meal has gone down i can rest assured that the world remains in a state of crisis ... 

i am still digesting the teachings of Krishnamurti and Mr Anderson .. 

and so now i can give my thanks

to waking up .. to good luck to good fortune to good overal health to toys to good food laughter tears and comedy to work to work mates to being paid to shelter to all those who are aiding me in this troubled time to money in the bank to phones to hobbies to sense and limb to teachers to sleep to friends to family to fellow student to good neighbours to good landlords to books to meditation to exercise to quiet to music to tv radio to 

good spirits to shops to clients to medicine to teeth to hair the albemarle center to Mind to peace of mind ..

Posted by ecomill at 6:39 PM GMT

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Mood:  party time!

I would like to say that all is well however things tend to change rapidly in my world . the book is closed .. the Excession is read and yes i made a step into the outside world and it was ok .. Rachel is right .. i like to build up my expectiations of what is a very ordinary world . our meeting went well and i got a smoothie out of it .. only joking .. yes Costa's is a nice place ..

this morning has been interesting .. a swim and a sauna before breakfast .. and after well some tai chi . great . lasting until 10.20AM and of course an hour with Rachel till gone 11.30AM

after llunch well i managed some bass guitar practice and reading .. . and as a last resort a run 25 mins .. great .. all done by 04.00PM .. now studies are going well . javascript and some more styling this time for xml .. very absorbing .. and so much to see and do .. keep patience and you will prevail .. small steps .. i guess tis time to start cooking .. for tea .. and a smalll shop .. for tonight .. my lord the sweat poured off me today ..felt weak .. and quite done in .. 

the weather is great . and i am ok .

thasnks to Rachel and to good fortune good luck family and pece of mind .. books and learning .

Posted by ecomill at 4:08 PM BST

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Mood:  amorous

i guess that once you takeaway a few choice moments today has proved more than average . thanks to a few discovered facts . Norman who is a computer whizzz and Dan who is where i would like to be in say XX time .. yep web developer extrordinaire .. wow basically so i guess God moves in ways that we can never understand .. ah mn and so to the day in a sequential manner ..  woke at 07.00AM and prepared for work .. tai chi for an hour or so .. great and of course shopping breakfast and a few odds and ends .. meditation and some yoga . till 10.00AM . i felt comfortable with Janet and Chris and so we set to work .. hard and fast .. and in the mean time well chatting to the guys . Peter and Tony . Dan and Norman .. of course discovering more about these guys was a real boon .. photography and web language . and a whole lot of weirrd humour wonderful .. gentlemen !! 

and yes i was quite exhausted come 01.30PM where i went home and mediated for 30 mins . till 02.00PM enjoying the peace only to go swimming till 03.30PM nice to see Kim and a lady who gave me advice upon teaching . at scat well i never !!

and once home more css and html links for once working for once .. and at past 04.30PM guitar practice .. and after well more walking and a short stop to play a fender bass mex .. mnn £500 .. mnn and after enjoying the sunshine and the crowds .. 

home by early evening and cooked chicken .. simple whilst a raunchy bit of the novel of the moment .. Excession . new culture .. and well that is about it . 

health wise things are ok .. so far as i haven't done anything rash .. however i must admit that things can get a trifle out of hand hard reminders sometimes . where it seems like that my life hangs in the whim of the tide .. 

anyhow life is how you make it and i am doing my damnest to fil in every moment ..

so to goodl luck and good fortune good friends .. good mental health great physical health and to good spirits to waking up to tai chi to yoga to shops to meditation to sleep to work and travel to work mates to everyone at work todaa y to lunch to customers to vitamins to medicine to laughter and tears to comedy to music to hobbies to a roof over my head to help with living to rent paid to good neighbours to good landlords to the mail to gardens to books to learning to teachers Andrew Ross and to being sober a non smoker to being siingle to teeth and hair to Jane the girl i love .. to radio to the internet to email to wallks to fellow yoginis to yogis to fellow taoists June Jane and Kay to Pauline .to family to phones to toys to dinner to senses and limbs and to work that is paid to peace of mind to people like Rose and Mark to Maggi to Stuart Bethen Jo and Lucy etc to Susan and to Bob and all at mind .. to Andrew 

the highs today .. plaiying a fender mex .. easy .. and discovering more about the people i work with .. Dan and Norman ..Peter and Tony .. Chris ..and Lynn ..

well i guess that  is that .. warmth on a cool night .. and the lows . 

still being single after all these years . and the lonliiness that comes with the territory .. feeling exhausted and spent .. like the horse in waiting for Godot 

Posted by ecomill at 8:01 PM BST

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Mood:  cool

I don't know bad news first girl whom i like or at least would like to like just looked through me as if i did not exist . yes Jane was with her mother i guess and all i can surmise is that mummy thinks that her little angel should not be fraternizing with the likes of me .. oh yes dear it is a shame you have to mix with these types .. but that is not what we sent you to *********** for .. oh i know your uncle rode a horse into the morning assembly but that was entirely different .. it was a Sunday . dear ..

and so on women are the reason why men turn to porn .. late night gambling et etc etc . or so i believe having never met one as yet .. 

and now the day . you would not believe it i was on a high i knew that i was going to meet this girl and i had just completed a good day of alsorts and then bang i was nearly right and oh so very completely wrong . what a .. anhow to the day and how it panned out .

woke at  07.00AM and lay until 08.00AM figuring out the day ahead .. got up and went shopping for breakfast .. feeling good and so more tai chi till past 09.00AM then some meditation and yoga till 10.00AM work of course till 01.00PM not fantatic as we had little to do . apart from a few computers to figure out learned a few things though DDR RAM and it's predecessors plus it's successors . understood that we don't have enough though .. taking from peter to feed paul and so was pleased to see Chris's father .. and home by 01.20PM and a swim and sauna till 03.00PM whereupon the fun began .. with a lesson in css classes and id .. with some inheritence to contend with .. till past 04.00PM whereupon i put the oven on and went out.. hi Jane .mmnn and so in a mood .. snubbed i suppose . i got down to some bass guitar practice till 05.15PM and then a meditation till 05.40PM and something to eat .. and that is that my friend .. of course all of this is in my head .. and today has been an average day an enormously average day .. ho ho .. high of course being the css lesson and the low .. well work i suppose .. not enough .. 

now hi to mum who is ok and so the evening is here . rain and wind wondeful

thanks to good fortune good luck to good nieghbours good landlords to good mental health good physical health great spirits to gardens to being sober a non smoker to laughter tears and comedy to music to being single to teeth to tai chi and yoga exercise to meditation to toys and phones to senses limbs to waking up to  breakfast lunch and dinner to tv to radio to blogging to the internet to email to sleep to help with living rent etc to hobbies to family to work to workmated to peace of mind to Somerset Community Computers to customers to donations to teachers like Rose and Andrew to the albemarle center to fellow yogis and yoginis to fellow taoists and to books to learning .. 

Posted by ecomill at 6:39 PM GMT

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Mood:  a-ok

today i have gone mini me . a new eee pc . very interesting and once i get to grips with the new operating system bingo .. i believe that this is linux and it's great . the web and a few other apps .. well.. at least nowi have confidence in the technology that i am using .so to

and today . well a long one.. woke up and some tai chi .. an hour .. and of coure after. a run with Tim and Paul T yes we ran for maybe 45 mins . and it was fun .. in a jogging kind of way .. now of course the rest of the day followed on somewhat .. and after breakfast . well the day took it's own course . yes i bought a new pc . and to be honest the day went somehow of it's own accord . 

after lunch well some more tai chi and some meditation .. i even had a go at more html tables and lists .. 

the afternoon was stressful . i admit Chris and I went for a walk and yet rather than being easy . i suddenly had a horrible thought . that i was leading him astray .. i returned to the house. abashed somewhat and the rest of the afternoon was only rescued by a look at some computer games .. street fighter 5   well i recognized the opportunity and fired a few questions whilst triying to remain calm .. mnn

writing this down helped and put things at ease within my mind .. the day was a success .. largely because i forgot about what i wanted .. and gave all i could to a friiend ..

now i was stressed and a swim helped to ease things talking helped . and i discovered that Brin a liifeguard is a photographer .. and Christopher is back on pool duty .. mnn 

now to tonight .. still not 100% . and yet these days are getting better .

thanks to waking up .. tai chi yoga and running swimming saunas to breakfast vitamins and medicine to good luck good fortune to toys to phones to people like Tim & Paul .. travel etc and nice surprises . to good mental health good physical health great spirits to laughter and tears to comedy and music to being sober single and a non smoker to familly and good friends to people like Janet and Fran to a roof over my head to help with living to rsent paid good landlords good neighbours to warmth on a cold night to hobbies to the internet to email to teeth and hair to gardens to lunch and dinner to herbal tea to shops to all those people who have helped me . in these difficult times . to tv to radio to sleep to showers .. 

Posted by ecomill at 7:53 PM GMT

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Mood:  accident prone

yes today has turned out to be a step in the right direction .. again .. this time it s about where will i be in say a year's time .. yes i have chosen tai chi and yoga as my spritual  vessal and now i have given some thought to my destination as far as trade or skill  is concerned .. and i might as well follow a well trodden path w3schools .. these guys will give me some kind of route to follow .. and if needs be.. proof .. ie a diploma ..

now for the day .

i woke up around 09.00AM and i guess i was happy . the thought of a sauna . and steam well .. my cold is much better .. and well i could take things easy .

and so to tai chi for an hour or so .. and breakfast .. and so by the time i got to the pool it was 11.00 ish .. and here i guess i have started on the right track .. a meeting in the sauna .. a Hungarian Dr .. we talked a great deal .. about all sorts of things and i made it my business to be as humble as i could . yes i listened and curbed my first reaction . to talk .. basically .. and i gave way .. letting the man through . embracing right . and not the right .. important that .. embracing right ..

and after we said our farewells well i was feeling ok .. and went on to some lunch .. shops again .. and more tai chi . again giving more time to the left .. and thus keeping the whole form alive .. yes Andrew is right when he said that things come alive when you embrace balance .. both left and right ..

by 02.00PM more tai chi and so 2 hours in total by then and afterwards meeting Chris and Janet and yes we had a great time till 03.40PM playing the computer . and vista ..

 and after, the rain that washed away the snow . anyhow from 04.00PM onwards more tai chi and tea time ..

and this evening well .. study begins . HTML and xhtml with css .. and why not i have the time and the potential .. and W3schools have the road map .. mnn however i cant quite shake off the dull day.. who knows things are improving and tonight.. I've started something that i can finish .. and yes the future is an exciting range of options .. thanks yoga and thanks to Rose and Andrew ..

time now on my hands .. more thanks and a pdcaste from the Guardian online technology . more people to follow .. and here is one now . new media mogul Azeem Azhar ..

thanks to waking up and tai chi yoga .. to vitamins and medicine to breakfast .. lunch and tea to Chris and to saunas again to warmth on a cold night to laughter tears comedy and music to good luck good fortune to great mental health great physical health to grand spirits to being sober a non smoker to being single and to teachers Rose Andrew and to fellow yogis and yoginis to learning again to books to internet to email to toys to phones to tv to radio to good neighbours good landlords to swimming to saunas to peace of mind to work and work mates to voluntary work to travel to my garden to poems to new friends to help with living to rent paid to safe keeping for us all to Rachel . to Rhodda to Amanda Dixon to Drs and Nurses to reading and to meditation to hobbies to senses and limbs to

the weekend .

and now the drum and bass well what can i say ..

the evening is relatively quite ..and yes i have the blues.. yoga helps .. and twittter . accident prone well i bit my tongue  blood not the best sight ..and yes i did wonder if it was possible to bite it off ..

Posted by ecomill at 7:29 PM GMT

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Mood:  hug me

well today has been one of quite achievement . yes i was in work and i managed to read and do more exercises from the cognitive therapy book .. this time my confused and twisted thoughts . writing them down giving them a score out of 100 and then applying the 10 examples over generalization, labelling , fortune telling etc etc and then replacing these thoughts with real thinking . so finding that instead of the twisted thought you replace this with a thought that makes more sense .. and so i came to the conclusion that Rose and I were both really proud to have made it in to work and that Rose was showing her feelings .. and i was misinterpreting these as thinking! yes i felt hurt . at first but once i began to piece things together it made sense . like now for instance ..

now after this exercise i was at home doing some tai chi . 80mins when Paul rang and we had a great long chat . good to hear from him .. and nice of him to call ..

now to the meat of the day . my CSS that i spent the afternoon learning .. and i am glad to say . i figured out both how to apply classes .. both within the css file and the html file .. and found the selectors for text quite interesting . margins borders all that stuff .. a bit unpredictable . howevegood fun . and a note to myself . once left for a while the solution becomes apparent .. soon enough . and so after more meditation and  bass guitar practice that took me to tea time and a trip to the shops .. well i was back to myself again

After all that css i needed a break . and a bass guitar session helped me calm down .. that and a meditation session that took me to 04.20PM . whereupon i did a monster tai chi session . lasting about an hour and twenty mins .. or so . great as now i am coming to terms with the left hand of the form . coming out of my comfort zone .

i was ready to hit the street and shop where i bumped into Susan from the pool . said hi . also wished a trucker good and safe journey . oh and Paul and Charlotte . from Morrisons .

and home . with mussels for tea .. and then the special bit .. why was the class selector still blue . and of course the answer was that the tag was the same as the tag further down the page on the css file .. i switched to a different tag in the html file and added more font info to the class and bingo .. no more conflict .. and that coupled with the alignment of the text i got just what i set out to achieve a few days ago .. where you have a great title .. with a little quote just beneath and to the right .. i also found that i could play with the color scheme a little, so overal a good day . on target .. and anyhow i;m lucky . i know what i want to do and how to get there and also i have found my path with heart . finally caring is second nature. and not something that i have to remind myself of . all that time ago thanks to the tao of pooh and the te of piglet ..

thanks to waking up this morning . to good luck to good fortune to great mental health great physical health . to grand spirits to laughter and tears to comedy to music to work and workmates to good books and learning to teachers Andrew Rose and Jill to breakfast lunch and tea to good neighbours good landlords to vitamns medicine to the CAB to Rachel to Amanda Dixon to warmth on a cold night to new things learning . to sleep to tai chi and yoga to saunas to gardens to swimming to exercise to help with living and rent paid to family to all our safe keeping to the weekend to travel to hobbies to tv to radio to senses and limbs to teeth and hair to toys to phones to voluntary work to Chris and to Janet to shops to meditation to the internet to email to nintendo DS ..

and so my highs yes i got a kick out of solving that certain problem . in css . creating websites is me again ..

sorting out why i feel the way i do was a high of sorts ..untangling my thinking and finding out new ways of rationalizing why i think and react is good for me ..because the more often i look at my behaviour the more i see that my first impressions are often incorrect ..and finding a more rational way of seeing and thinking helps me feel better about myself ..

lows an afternoon of no swimming or sauna .. i miss this a lot .

walking about in the snow without proper footware .. wet feet yuck !!

these last few days have seen me less on twitter .. more doing other stuff

however i shall stick with this . as well as tumblr and the other choices i made ..  films mnn!!

Posted by ecomill at 7:09 PM GMT

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Mood:  special

And so having discovered what line of spirituality has a heart . ie Tai Chi & Qi Qong plus as a direct ancestor yoga i have found another truth that i hold to be self evident .. html yes and now CSS what a fantastic combination .. my websites have never looked so good . i feel that now with these two together .. the page is finally starting to look good .. in a magazine standard kind of way .. yes pictures go where you want them to go .. and the whole thing looks more like something that would interest you for more than a second or two .. thankyou .. and yes no longer do websites have to resemble ceefax or worse .. whilst the word design finally means something ..

and so here is my day  . from the top .

07.30AM wake up .. and then of course tai chi and breakfast .. in fact right up until 10.15 AM . the word tai chi was high on my list . of doing things .. no work today thanks to snow .. and so from 10.15AM the day was a new page .

and so i got down to it more CSS study that paid off . big style . and of course bass guitar . with a trip to the shop for lunch .. well a notebook to jot down my very few moments of twisted thinking . only about 3 or 4 today .. impatience being one .. anyhow the morning passed by so quickly .

and the afternoon was a simple walk in the sun . and a brief moment of doubt .. that led to a visit to the CAB no Rose though!! and so afterwards a long sauna steam to get rid of the cold i have ..

and i was so taken with this css language that i tried some more .. do from 03.30PM till almost 05.00PM i was improving on perfection .. great found how to make some great adjustments . that make the whole website come alive .. and after well some more bass guitar . 10 mins or so .. yes quite happy with my new found skill .. and i did picture myself as a professional being able to do all this without recourse to a book . like a real language . like english .. yes just like a real native speaker!

and as a precursor to something to eat .. well 30 mins of Zhan Zhuan followed by the most fantastic houmous with pine nutes and pesto . nnm !

this has been my day . quite groundbreaking in that i have began to understand how best to proceed when starting out on the website design path .. easy design tips are there to make design easy .

and yes the notebook was a bit of an idea .. we will see .. and yes the highlights have outweighed the lows

highs being when i looked at my website having understood the role of the ID selector .. one a page and the look was beautiful .. just what i wanted ..

another high was the sunshine and warmth on my face .. when i was expecting chills.. nice to see Peter..C

Lows .. the sauna steam being empty of freinds . well still feeling cold and chilled ..

visiting the CAB .. and waiting . being asked if i had difficulty remembering .. yes i am still smarting after people saying that i am dim .. well i know that i am not . infact i am getting into my stride . again ..

and a piece of good news i guess . the order for omerga 3 arrived ..hurrah! and my bank balance not too bad .. have the forms and will prepare fro tomorrow . 11.30AM Rachel ..

more reading poor people at Google . mn 4 going down .. no way !

anyhow thanks now .. to Waking up. this morning .. tai chi and good luck to good fortune to good mental health . great physical health . grand spiirits to good neighbours good landlords to jokes and laughter music to comedy to film and to cartoons to the internet to email to a roof over my head to rent paid to help with living to being paid to work to warmth on a cold night to shops to yoga to saunas steam to friends to toys and phones to family to tv to radio to heating to electricity to vitamins medicine to gardens to sleep to teeth and hair to breakfast lunch & dinner to meditation to exericse to money in the bank to books to new skills to teachers and people like Janet Andrew Rose Rachel to Chris to sunshine to hobbies to fresh water to senses and limbs to Drs and Nurses to Amanda Dixon to travel to therapy .  

Posted by ecomill at 6:48 PM GMT

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Mood:  not sure

Yes this might look great . however my brain is saying . oops yes there was a reason why no fancy stuff . as i have probably no space left in the bank so to speak .. hoewver this is JAPP

Posted by ecomill at 8:18 PM GMT

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