Mood:  a-ok

How can a man describe his day . as though it were real yet not bore the pants off the reader .. live an exciting life

i almost explained myself with a pointer to a movie i had seen a few days ago .. stop worrying about the grapefruit and go have a good time . that is what is now

so here is my day

I woke late points there methinks then off to shop for beakfast .. a man has to eat .. same as all those other days .. points taken away .. then to tai chi . always tai chi .. mnn neutral on that one although  why stay at home . try it out doors .. points added .. and then mindfuness session .. mnn again that feels more like a grapefruit than bacon . and i guess the sketch or skit comes  about the  liver sketch .. mnnn points considered .. so you see life has a way of its own .

now once i had done my routine .. it was getting on for lunch ..and more food and to think i have an album of music to add to my poems ..

staying in touch with Anthony was important and to find out about things happening in his life is important . and so after 40 mins on the phone i was ready to eat 

and then the rest of the day .. outside in the sunshine with either mysfelf or Chris G and his mum . 

yes we saw the lakes and yes i thought i could hear the fish jumping and of course it was the gulls lapping instead .. yes we had a time of it .. sunshine and good company

home by 04.30 pm and after more shopping ..

a swim 45 mins and a sauna where i learned what a skit is .. not  a slang for crazy guy but a sketch  of comedy

now to rest of the day

the stars are out .. although it seems that the evening star is in the right place as opposed to the place i thought that it was or is 

thanks  to waking up to good luck to good fortune to good food to
laughter tears to comedy to music to friends to family to exercise to meditation to mindfulness to sleep to weekends to good neighboiurs to good landlords to rent paid to all those who are aiding me in this troubled time to work to workmates to being paid to a roof over my head to sense and limbs to hobbies to teeth to hair to tv to radio to teachers to books to the internet to money in the bank to good overal health to the albemarle center to staplegrove hall to shops 

to  

Posted by ecomill at 8:10 PM BST

Updated: Sunday, 21 March 2010 8:19 PM BST

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Mood:  not sure

so the high of today .. has to be first seeing Janet and Chris G .. what a surprise ..and then there was seeing Clare who looked different . and didn't mind me getting rid of the christmas decorations .. oh and my idea for organic waste going well .. somehow i still feel that i turn into a bit of a pussy cat when she is around yet i can't help that ..

now to the day

an early start .  wake up .at before 09.00 am and something to eat . breakfast followed by a swim that took me to the mid morning .. 75 minutes and a sauna that found me chatting  about dying .. yes i had spent the whole time drowning .. and to be honest feeling none the wiser . yet that is life if not a part .. so once home .. more tai chi till lunch considering fear once again ..and then more mindfulness .. great .. the day still felt all wrong .. and dropping into my boots seemed all that i could do .. 

after a bit of a bizzare early afternoon where i contacted Kiim and  Jason C . who was doing the sane thing and watching  Avatar .. with his dad ..  I spent walking with Kim H .. who seemed very put out with his dad .. mnn

getting home at past 04.00 pm i felt rather shaken and had to eat to get my strength back .. no lunch ..!! 

and so once settled i can say that i now feel somewhat better in spirit at least ..

reading about cricket made me feel more human and sending off a rather strange piece of trivia has made me feel connected again .. thanks to  Andrew for that ..

so now to somethiing to eat once more and the evening that once again sees me with another headache .. 

thanks to waking up to shops to breakfast to exercise to meditation to friends to work to work mates to being paid to a roof over my head to family to good luck to good fortune to good overal health to good spirits to laughter tears comedy to music to toys to good weather to help with living to good food to films to hobbies to phones to all those who are aiding me in ths time of trouble to sense and lmbs to internet to sport to meditation to friends to sleep to holidays to good neighbours to good landlords to teachers of all kind .. rest and teeth and hair .. 

and so to the burning issue of the moment . something that Kim said .about being left on the shelf .. forgotten .. and it may be so .. Rachel  has not called for months now ..and it is I who is chasing the issue .. i guess that i need some kind of appreciation as to my efforts . yet what i world i live in .. one that is rather scary and very lonely .. at times ..  and yet i have more freedom ..and i guess that is worthwhile

 i feel that at times that my background has it's advantages and disadvantages .. guts and bravery with a sense of caring .. difficult .. and sometimes when i see others just having a good time makes me wonder at my own rather perverse point of view .. i now know why some become depressed or just plain bad .. i guess that i must ask that question of me .. am i not the same kind of stuff .. as i have found ..  once you take away the suport of church or organization .. once you recognize that you are in a pathless land ..one that no one warned you or prepared you for .then being serious is the only way forward ..into any kind of sanity .. seriousness .. me .. !! for me .. humour has never been so serious . 

Posted by ecomill at 7:07 PM GMT

Updated: Wednesday, 30 December 2009 7:40 PM GMT

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Mood:  a-ok

Ok so today is Christmas Eve and i have little in the way of provisions however tonight i am warm and i have a full stomach.. no more troubles in that area .. now at least .. yes the day has gone well
..

I woke late and after the usual routine of up shopping and breakfast . followed by tai chi and meditation i was feeling ok . 

great to be feeling stronger .. and so to be honest i felt the need to be active and found that extra present for Mum .. 

the afternoon once i had come to around 12.00 pm  till 02.00 pm was swimming and sauna .. where i met Bridget and enjoyed her company along with Russel ..and a guy i only know as being deaf . resolution recall recal recall 

now from there on in shopping took center stage .. and after checking out work . to see what needed doing i was home and hungry 

after a late lunch more photography and a great sunset ..leaving me feeling romantic or lonely depending upon your point of view 

this took up an hour and left me chilled yet happy ..

 it is difficult to face up to the simple fact that Christmas has a bit of a following in these parts .. yes on the way home seeing dads and their little ones filled me with love .. even though it was more like saluting the act of a desperate man .. the crowd once again swayed so easliy .. as if any other act at this time of year would be deemed just not cricket ..  that word ..  patriotism .. tied in with religious .. well these people are my neighbors .. what can one say openly when children are involved in this awful deciet 

one rather wonderful thing occured however .. Bridget mentioned it that being named Christian must  have been difficult and i was so relieved joyful even to be able to talk about it ... 

thus the power of the fear involved .. when talking about one's neighbour .. keeping up with the Jones or perhaps John Bull .. living up to expectations .that are part of one's upbringing ..

one note however.. the thought of chasing Bridget or even showing interest .. seems rather hopeless as my situation is so dire .. a woman needs many things and a woman like Bridget would i guess bring many problems .. I can't quite see us as partners .. difficultles arise out of almost every concievble spyhole .. 

a beautiful woman yes .. but beauty at what cost ..

however we are seem to share something .. an openness that a year or two ago would have had me running even before i'd began

now to this evening .. good to see Nagib and yet i fear that once again irony has had her way .. seeing someone have the time of their life and then come crashing down hard leaves me feeling awful .. I have seen it before and i know that it is not so but again i seem to have learned to see the bear before the rabbit .. 

not so .. i can only say that life and the universe is complicated

Christmas itself is upon us ..like the wolf upon the fold .. yet understanding the whole movement of consumerism fear commercialism and relationship .. all the stupidity that rules our lives cannot it seems be simply swept away .. without pain .. i seem to be left with the notion that it is up to me now to be rresponsible yet i fear the wrath of public opinon . etc etc etc

 I see it for what it is .. and yet somehow feel also that i have not the strength to speak up .. for fear of what people will say .. 

Christmas is for children .. and Christianity is for the commone good . yet i recal the image on the television . past now .. of men in service uniform . soldiers salors firemen airmen etc .. and the most bizzare image that i have ever seen .. a man dressed in robes of a bishop or whatever . with a banner .. beautifuly robed the most lovely tapestry the most delightful fabric with gems etc etc ..and thought to myself that this was if not comical then madness .. 

then the poppies began to fall .. reminding me of the millions who died .. millions .. countless millions dying horribly .. for what .. our plan versus someone elses .

the horror of the situation is qute so .. the world is in a mess and all i can do is look to my world and myself ..  and to show love in the best way i can .. keep well . and keep drawing or being creative in the best way i can 

thanks to waking up .. to good fortune to good luck to good overal health to great spirits to laughte tears to comedy to music to toys to sense and limbs to friends to exercise to meditation to good neighbours to good landlords to  roof over my head to people who are aiding me now in this troubled time to warm weather to saunas to teeth to hair to friends to hobbies to good food to a rest .. family to sleep to the teachers in my life ,, to places like the albemarle center to the staplegrove hall to help with living to being paid to money in the bank to medicine to sense and limbs to being youngish free ish and single ish ..

and to shops to kindness of friends

Posted by ecomill at 6:41 PM GMT

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I woke late once more 09.30 am .. and almost considered the day .. once i had come to my senses i prepared myself for what would lie ahead .

and so once again i put on the tape and listened to the conversation that i had listened to yesterday .. and so was fully aware of events going through the day .. after breakfast and more tai chi i felt if not more human more personable

washing done also .. made ready my work day ..and somehow the morning was spent .and the afternoon was racing by .. i had just enough time to have a meal and sort out my wash ..before i was ready to meet up with Christopher ..

we talked  easily and somehow got to following the local river and stream ..as the rain had created quite a flow .. a movement of the stuff . that was so loud we could not hear each other think 

the weir was an incredible scene of rushing water ..and we watched the animals ducks etc take shelter from the foaming chaos of whirling waters

we followed a stream one of many i guess that feed the River .. and made it to the site of a housing estate not 200 yards away .. and from there i felt that we might have time to visit the park .. not more than 20 minutes away 

after finding our bearings at a local pub we set about reaching our goal .. and i was pleased to find Chris as eager as i to finaly reach our destination .. 

all the while i had these words from a conversation i had listened to ..these words being .. common sense .. care ..and love ..etc .. and found myself almost enacting scenes of childhood .. in order to keep the whole journey light and enjoyable 

one marvelous thing was that time seemed to slip by so quickly and both of us were not too worried about being late  back .. and if i am correct .. Chris seemed more keein on having a goood time .. and left me worrying about the return trip through the town .. 

thanks to his calm demeanour my anxiety caused by the crowds etc was less pronounced than it might have been

 Writing this down i feel the silence of the day .. and look to the evening as a new experience .. perhaps not as jovial as previously and yet with more staying power .. we shall see

thanks to waking up to good luck to good fortune to good overal  health to sense and limbs to toys to work and work mates to being paid to phones to family to friends to good spirits to the weekend to a roof over my head to exercise to meditation to sleep to hobbies to medicine to laughter tears comedy to music to art to good food to Mind to peace of mind to good landlords to good neighbours to all those who are aiding me in this troubled time ...  to getting better 

 swimming went well . again i meditated upon the topic of fear ..and felt that  am beginning to understand the movement .. of it . and once i was cold enough and tired of swimming the 50 minutes .. i spent 15 minutes in the other extreme .. a sauna .. talking with a lady who i know a little .. Russell was also on call and surprised me by his exuberant encouragement .. at my diving .. 

after more watery activity i decided that the sauna would be warmer than my flat . not true ..and then chose  to not face a fear as such but to socialize .. to defy my mind or brain and join others .. with the intent of helping Russel with the lady who tends to frighten me somewhat i considered it an act of friendship to add my lot .. and so with a self important bearing i sat and listened .. saying little .. apart from a brief idea of my own upon the safe use of gold balls 

and somehow  rather than come to the rescue of  a friend .. i sat and chatted .. to the lady .. 

and now that is done .. something to eat .. salmon potato and carrots . with a smattering of lentil.. hot .. and steaming 

Posted by ecomill at 4:25 PM GMT

Updated: Sunday, 29 November 2009 7:03 PM GMT

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Mood:  hungry

i guess that today i did something good . i allowed myself to enjoy the moment and the fruits of my labours .. sitting there watching the sun's rays upon the rich earth gently move across the way i sat and relaxed .. went home after a bit of weeding and composting .. and made grape juice .. pure grape juice .. the use of a sock and a blender . by 01.30 i was drinking what had been on the vine a mere 2 hours earlier

now to today i woke early and as usual i went out to shop for some breakfast . followed by an hour of tai chi .. all done by just past 09.10 am

now i had a blood test for the crap that they are making me consume . pills of course .. goodness knows what's in them ..

yes i was done by mid morning and went to the allotment . to harvest the grapes . do a bit of weeding a little clearing and a bit of composting .. all done by -1.30 pm

after lunch i headed to Dr China till near on 03.00 pm and went to the local theater and bumped into a friend .. Amanda .Jane Karen etc  and some young artist .. we chatted and i felt left out ..as usual .. her eyes were on his .. nothing new there .. the n

after a shop for tea .. i managed to get done till 04.00 pm  and a swim and sauna till now time now to eat ..

what is it when one has magentism and charm .. lost on the world ..

ah well tonight can rest easy

the evening is silent & once again has that feeling that almost palpable sense of spirit .. in the air . or maybe that is to much greek .. 

 all is quiet here .. my heart burns as does the whole of my body .. what for .. the love and acceptance of a good woman .. i don't know 

today i have worked and played . rested and suffered .. everything in the right amount ..

my blood is good enough for them to want more of it nect month .. my limbs are in good enough working order enough to know that they dislike too much inaction .. my mind is numb enough to let me think

thanks i guess to waking up to the good luck and good fortune that comes with life .. to friends to good overal health to all those people who know me .. to work to work mates to being paid to half term to teachers to fellow students to good food to laughter tears comedy to music to toys to medicine to gardens to teeth sense limbs to shops to hobbies to exercise meditation to sleep to a good shave to aftershave to blogging to cookers to tv radio to internet to saunas to family to the albemarle center to my neighbourhood

town and country 

Posted by ecomill at 6:57 PM BST

Updated: Tuesday, 27 October 2009 7:33 PM BST

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Mood:  a-ok

never turn anyone away ..  everyone has a place in this world ..  oh such high ideals torn to peices when the wind blows .. and yet we still beleve in principles  such as these ..

why then do so many people end their days in hopeless situations .. oh lord even in this heaven of ours there are the poor .. poverty can reach out and take a man .. believe you me .. from any station and at any time 

anyhow to this day ..belief today was in that high ideal of mine .. never to be defeated . and at the same time to choose my battles well

one great difficulty of mine is this .. clinging on the good stuff . 

 and in doing so blind to the lesson in front of me ..

ok so now i am well and truly in this thing ..  suffering yes .. suffering however was up till only recently a thing that i took on trust .. i knew the mechanics of mental anguish .. the pain and horror however i merely saw these as moments in time .. for example if you are pricked by a needle you react straight a way .. the pain is real and immediate .. then you see the blood .. then you heal .. 

my  suffering is thus .. continuous .. as in buddhist teachings .. however mine is simpler there is a word or phrase .. and it is this 

disenfranchised grief  simply put my love was real and that is why my grief is real .. to Ellennor my love so great that there may be God . to my soul here and now .. that sees so much and can say so little .. to a love so great that i ceased to understand this world once the love was broken emptied .. to see the divine spirit to know that there is more to this life than could ever be explained to then see all this become horror .. is like seeing your God die .. to die yourself to mourn the death of within .. to love and to love .. why so .. beause that is all there is .. love turned to love .. never letting go .. loving till only the pain remained .. where only the myths can fully free me from this love .. love and grief .. love will never end ..and so my pain becomes .. like the sting that i so desire .. 

my love is real .. it guides me through this life .. becomes dark . and tears this soul of mine .. sheds another skin ..and rears it's ugliness every time .. this love has no name anima and animus both .. grief has it's shadow both black and white .. whilst the aroma is one of pure ambrosa gone sour .. love consumes itself for mere objection .. love consumes love .. and as love becomes ..so does the fire and the darkness born from love so beautful and so terrible that man made secret .. this is love this is my darkness my beautifu love that never will die .. never has love struck such a poor man as i..  my love makes this place real love makes this place sealed .. this love only can be .. like my grief .. in equal part divine .. laced with the depth of nature and her supernatural cruelty .. my end has been made fitting iron in my soul .. lechery dust and God like toil .. all gone now till my soul encarnates to face that trial .. where in hell i am to be distilled .. where love can sip and my pain my color and the solitude of secrets may give me rest .. understand that i am not alone .. yet still i look .. to hope and to yet another heaven ..  grief my love 

and to this day .. 

woke so early and yes rose to tai chi for an hour .. yes there was a dream diary and another twist .. astrology tips .. meditation ..etc .. cleaned the flat and somehow the day was done .. more good food and an afternoon with Chris and co .. still oh that was it i almost forgot .. work and some more reading .. on grief and disenfranchised grief .. quite a discovery .. finding the right word the right phrase .. finding the place so to speak

and so onward to the allotment and to Chris and I  . good fun

and then an afternoon of rest .. from then on until swimming at 05.00 sauna etc and all done by 07.00 great phonecall from Judith and then  a blog that describes my pain at loving those who no longer are with us or who created such a seismic eruption of passion and divine consciousness that i lost all sense of life on this plane .. and not just once but every time .. being a scorpio is no fun sometime .. i feel that  i have a ferrari engine built into a robin reliant .. mnn

thanks now to waking up to good luck to good fortune to God to good food to laughter tears comedy to music to toys to teacher s to internet to exercise to meditation to sense limbs to good overal health to good spirits to hobbies to phones to family to work to work mates to being paid to money in the bank to tc to radio to gardening to friends to fellow students to dreams to shops to all those who are aiding me in this torubled time to good neighbors to good landlords to sleep 

Posted by ecomill at 8:29 PM BST

Updated: Sunday, 25 October 2009 9:15 PM BST

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Mood:  lucky

so i would love to say that i find or have discovered a way to live through this life .. and it is simple .. no beginning no end .. no more goals . and when i mean goals i mean .. the kind that i find that only break things up .. say like this .. swimming to the sauna and from the sauna to home to something to eat to sitting down to yoga to comedy on the telly..

my life as been ruled by the bell for so long now .. my life has been one lesson  after another .. first it would be one thing then another ..and then another and another ..and another 

so now no beginning no end .. i am still swinging through the trees .. from one thing to another .. come down from that tree ..and live life as it can be lived

I'm not saying that this outlook is bad .. it teaches a few things .. how to break up the day .. however this method has a dark side .. you soon find yourself setting goals where goals are not applicable .. see ten minutes for friends .. 5 minutes to walk this way . largely we are taught this way so that we won't be phased by meetings .. so from lessons we turn to meetings .. same thing . time management .. well if you listen to a man who runs marathons .. he will tell you that there are no beginnings and no endings.. you run a race .. there is no end no finish . and therefore no beginning .. buddhist thought .. of karma .. this life is not the end nor is it the beginning .. an endless cycle of karma .. so no worries . once it dawned on me .. well i changed my tune .. if you get it wrong you'll get it right next time don't you worry don't you whine cos if you get it wrong you get it right next time . next time 

now that is something to come away with .

 and yes there was another story . i consdered that i had had a good day so far one thursday .. when i noted that the local elections were being held ..and thus armed with my polling card optional i decided to walk to my polling station .. i am a hearty believer in walking rather than driving to vote .. i feel that if you drive it is a bit like missing all that foreplay .. so to speak and you learn something about your community and that of your neighbours' . well 

as i walked i noticed the tone of the neighbourhood change .. i noted the poor the disabled the young who are struggling in a world that sees only their faults .. purely because they are that young and inexperienced .. 

 i did not find myself singing streets of london but i came close .. and as i caught sight of the club named the RAFFA club i counted the last 200 steps .. each one a countdown to how i was feeling having seen the street .. 

i was surprised quite pleasantly by the apparant laid back atmosphere . i expected to see a few faces .. badge holding politicos of various colors etc and was rather abashed to find a young attractive woman blonde hair and rather my sort stand up and almost take me by the arm ...

your'e a bit early!

she said .  as we headed inside ..  i must admit .. i was torn between asking her her political persuisson and heading for the nearest booth .. and then it struck me

early  ah .. early you say

i picked out my card and looked at the date .. thursday . yes.. october  15

early by about 3 weeks 

i i chirped .. three weeks  early . i made my leave .. rather embarrassed ..and yet it struck me .. if carlsberg were to organise elections   they would probably be the best elections in the world.

thanks to waking up .. good fortune to good luck to good overal health to good spirits to medicine to all those who are helping me in this time of trouble to sense limbs to laughter comedy to tears to music to toys to hobbies to friends to family to exercise to meditation to good weather to good food to gardens to work to being paid to money in the bank to sleep to phones 

Posted by ecomill at 6:56 PM BST

Updated: Sunday, 27 September 2009 7:54 PM BST

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Mood:  a-ok

Amazing how the day disappears .. first you are waking up the next minute . you are saying cheers to your neighbour for having you round . 13.30PM .. yes i locked myself out of my flat .. mnn!!

and the aftenoon ? simple playing the fool . down at the lake . with my mate Chris .. searching for water boatmen etc.. lots of blue dragonfly .. and the odd lilly pad ..  

oh the joy . of acting your shoe size not your age ..

I cannot say how today has made me feel .. welcomed and valued .. it's been that kind of day .. the kind that you don't hear about .. largely ..

 yes i still managed to do some tai chi .. 35 mins or so and the swimming went well .. another 35 mins or so .. and one thing that i have concluded that books that attempt to compare generations are fascinating .. the baby boomers and generation x .. surely there has never been a better opportunity than now to see how things are..  going .. it seems to me that we have all done a great deal of growing up .. for the first time ..  you know that the little old lady next door was probably not the victorian that she now appears to be .. quite amazing .. a bit like finding out that the over 65s are still enjoying sex .. persish the thought but now there is no excuse ..  the 60se  happened !! yes 50 yrs ago but that is no excuse . we are all now in this world now with our eyes fully openy .. or is that eyes wide shut .. well it is all there in black and white .. just get ready for when your son or daughter askes you what ou did in the war ? NO !!! what you did in the 60s ..  did you drop acid or go to woodstock .or join the peace corps .. ban the bomb .. civil rights .. go on the pill .. go to a rolling stones gig .. grow your hair long .. swing .. buy a single .. listen to radio carolyne ..  go east ..become a hippy . rocker .. mod .. or were you a young conservative .. the question i guess is .. how far are you going to go to teach your offspring the real useful stuff about life... 

so when your young one says that they are selling **** what are you going to do .. ?

this i suppose is a question of hypocrisy.. do we pretend that post modernism never happened .. that it is the 21st century .. my guess is that we will.. deny deny deny . similar to that age old situation of being caught with your pants down .. deny deny deny

Maybe the 60s weren't what we were led to believe .. just another thing for us generataon X lot to swallow .. just another boomer ting ..I guess i feel like i am in a relay race where the guy in front just doesn't want to part with the baton .. still confident that he or she is better at this game than anyone else .. lesson there someday ..  somehow i feel that if the baton is ever to be handed over . it is going to be a very short time before i will be asked what did you do in the war daddy .. 

thanks to all that good luck good fortune to friends good food great overal health to good spirits to gardens to all those who are helping me now in these troubled times to medicine to sense limbs to radio tv to toys to hobbies to a roof over my head to meditation excercise to laughter tears comedy music to teachers books to good neighbors good landlords to being regular to travel to family 

waking up .. to shops to work to workmates to clients to being paid to telephones ..  

Posted by ecomill at 7:04 PM BST

Updated: Sunday, 16 August 2009 7:51 PM BST

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Mood:  surprised

oh red eyes .. the Beautiful South .. well good bye David ..  now i wonder .. but i played this song red eyes .. by the beautiful south a few days ago ..  unconscous of your demise .. and yet what a way to go ..  you may not have known me .. but if anything what a character .. !! RIP .. 

now to the day .. woke early and considered the day .. another face the music kind of day ..yes .. there was tai chi that left me feeling frightened . inside . and the prospect of what was next . well by 10.10 i was searching out the whereabouts of a walk ... i ran .. firstly to the local supermarket then work then across town to a well known park .. goodllands gdns .. where with perfect timing and a certain amount of grace i joined the procession .. 

we walked for an hour ..and yes  i felt so anxious i did not have the time to be all the other things that my nerves could think of .. we talked.. Kim and I about photography and i had my camera .. and so i took a few shots .. getting to grips with this very serious olympus . i guess that menfolk need toys and  this is mine .. nice clean .and yet i feel guilt .. why should i a semi serious amateur . with at the time more money than sense .have the afront to be in the possessioin of a such a technolgical marvel .. i have often considered handing it to someone with talent rather than pose around .. mn 

now the evening is bright blue and the sun is burning up the skyline .. the red bricks of the town houses look almost golden . 

there is a faint hiss of traffic . and the gulls sail by at home amongst the rooftops ..  I am enchanted to find a troop of pied wagtails living now as neighbours .. their constant checking movements .. giive these tiny birds an appearance of keen inteligence . I hope that their presence does not attract the attention to some of the larger more aggressive birds .. 

Now to the walk .. we strolled for an hour .. and afterwards took the opportunity to walk some more along the river .. passing the fair .. and chatting idly . i needed to be back for before 01.00 and managed to make it before lunch time .. 12.20 on the dot .. and so once fed and watered i was ready for an accupuncture from 01.30 till 02.30 great .. 

thirty minutes later and i was with my Mum and Sister sitting in a cafe .. again talking about film and the video generation .. film came to life with the advent of video .. i recalled the scene .. 1980 .. when every Saturday evening our school would be given the wonder of a film ..16mm and quite basic .. titles such as the good the bad etc .. rocky horror .. etc .. 

the whole scene deserves some attention .. boarders on a weekend were to be fair a problem .. and a film was the perfect solution . two hours of film fun making sure that the powers that be knew where we were .. 

the problem was simple .. we all were of the age where the attraction of the local town .. ie the pubs etc was a well known factor ..and so to keep us happy and in one place was a must .. the scene was quite a farce .. with last minute general chaos as young men climbed out windows in order to assert their obvious displeasure at being tied to a stupid film .. their ascape and then their appearance later as we ran to the theatre . well they made ther point ..

the films given the circumstances were great ..and the sight of 60 odd  youngsters minus a few more mature young turks was a sight .. as once the movie was over .. we were in simple terms pumped ... the quarter of a mile back to the house was just the thing .. one long sprint .. and hot chocolate plus a mars bar or two to finish .. the rest of the evening a haze .. 

video changed things ..the saturday cinema died ..and was replaced by a video .. films and film stars that i had never heard of became part of my life .. the video shop .. attained mythical status as . the X certificate became de rigour ..  strangely it was the comedies for me .. Richard Prior .. and pals .. Moore . etc .. i forget .. the world would never be the same .. the video nasty . became part of our lives .. in both film and musical video .. aka the Damned .. I recal videos from artists and bands such as Depeche mode .. duran duran japan ABC . etc and buying a movie or video became the norm .. i even found that you could record and made variious home movies .. dubbing my own soundtrack onto games of american football .

anyhow

time now

thanks to everyone who has helped  me today .. good fortune good luck and to good overal health ..

to fallen heroes .. and to the video ..  

Posted by ecomill at 9:06 PM BST

Updated: Wednesday, 8 July 2009 9:58 PM BST

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Mood:  celebratory

I shall play that song for some time tonight .. the vapors what an album .. new clear days .. i'm turning japanese . i really think so 

yes today last day of college finished .. and now to celebrate .. but how .. how to celebrate when you don't drink smoke etc etc .. spirits mnnn .. well maybe a rest .. funny how the protestant work ethic worked .. work work work ..and then heaven .. now of course it has changed .. a bit like animal farrm .. gradualy .. letter by letter word by word .. now all we have is work work work and heaven? optional .. it does seem to be a double edged sword .. i mean all sorts of promises .. and we seem to think that anyone else's heaven is a load of cobblers .. anyhow the queston how to celebrate ? 

dance ? that is it .. tonight i shall dance 

question answered

today of course goes like this 

i woke and oh that tai chi was great ..an hour of wondering if my head was somehow attached to the ceiling .. and after ..shopping and breakfast .. now i had the intention to go out and draw ..and yet ... i met a friend and we talked ...and talked .. and talked .. till it was too late to draw .. standing in the street .. chatting .. about stuff .. i went home 

the afternoon was ... different .. one last lesson .. all about henges and the green man .. basically that the body decays and this is how it looks when it does .. all sorts of stuff growing out of every ... mnn ..

not very pretty .. but why so popular  .. in churchs from the 1 AD to the 17th Century at least .. the message clear .. the body decays .. smark o better get on . 

and henges .. again religious or perhaps engineering  .. stones .. in circles .. not so ciircular.. egg shaped .. flat ish .. and very clever .. triangles .. greek triangles .. mystery 

and then we al said our thanks .. to Richard and to Sue .. and we were on our way .. by 03.30 PM .. a bit sad .. perhaps .. but that is the point of celebration .. to mark our thanks, our sadness .. for the rewards we have gained and to the lessons learned . to the whole event .. from begiinning to end .. a marking of the moment .. so that we will remember .. 

anyhow i walked home and felt that this was no ordinary day

swimming and a film .. a walk and a meeting on the way . good day sunshine

thanks to all those who are helping through this time waking up hobbies toys to friends laughter tears comedy to music to help in living .. to family sense limbs work and being paid teachers and to good luck good fortune good overal health  

Posted by ecomill at 7:39 PM BST

Updated: Tuesday, 30 June 2009 8:01 PM BST

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