what a day what a week .. what a time ..
change change .. swimming early .. art . acrylic painting and photography .. with a hefty dose of gym work . and yes .. sexual politics .. and work .. whatever that means .. council house living ..
so here is the routine ..
woke before 08.00 am .. headed for the pool .. . so far so good .. good to see familiar faces . Maria etc ..
and an hour of flow .. nobody i knew though .. Polly in London seeing her family .. and so the day begins ..
oh lord .. breakfast .. and tai chi .. for an hour or so .. . oh god busy busy ..
and a thought .. painting .. in the darkness .. is no good .. looked at the flowers done last night .. poppies .. a bit of shock .. daylight is definetely a must .. re did the same flowers .. this time in the morning light .
and so without a doubt .. painting needs natural light ..
and yes pleased . a little .
more meditation .. and an afternoon ahead . lunch and later a new technique .. shooting from the waist .. got lucky .. shot a good batch . . drunks on the street .. interesting result . hazy and odd perspective matched the alcoholic state ..
and so with the luck .. home and a rest .. 40 minutes of lying down .. chilling .
and so .. to the scary bit ..
walked up to the allotment .. thought about a few shots ..
met Pony .. and .. home again where the trouble began .. ear stuff ..
mental health problems .. sickening . however once again . the camera was with me this time .. and a few great expressionist pictures .. bridge work .. i might be crazy . i might be psycho.. but those pics meant something ..
. i considered a little sleep .. and then a visit to the gym ..
walked .. and got there .. with the same fears that i believed had gone for good ... horrible time at the gym .. oms oms .. mnn mentally looking down at those toes .. mnn horror .. however .. what was obvious .. sexual politics .. and work ..
actually found the 25 minutes of rowing .. about enough .. the cycling went nowhere .. and so with 30 minutes of light left . i decided to head home ..
said my good byes .. i heard the word work ..
and so with a heavy heart and a mind on the edge . i bumped into Donna ..
where upon opening of my mouth .. a different voice a different person .. came out .. a different kind of me .. i yelped inwardly .. this guy whoever he was .. was a young buck .. one of those guys .. who hangs around in gyms or perhaps has just joined the army .. straight out of boot camp .. miltiary trained and just begging to go where the action is .. a hero .
and there it was . talking to Donna like i had never done .. thoughts of mental sanitation crossed my mind ..
however this was my voice .. that i had let out .. for the first time for perhaps a long time . or perhaps the first time ..
i walked on .. and met donna again .. who scared me with her reaction .. unclean .. the word unclean .. hit into me like rock ..
i walked on .. having seemingly improved my mental state ..
i walked on .. and played the game .. walking on ice .. being in a foreign land .. raised up to the sky by a precious metal ..
slowing down .. grounded ..
and so shopping .. meat and very little else
home and feeling better ..
